Good morning! Hope everyone is having a wonderful day so far 😊 I decided to share a rather personal and somewhat emtional hurdle that I’ve cleared. Anyone who has ever been so overweight that they couldn’t do something will understand the feelings behind this post and the difficulty in sharing it.
If you’re new to this blog, for a month now I’ve been living a low carb lifestyle with the aid of supplements and holistic treatment in the hopes to reverse some major health concerns. There have been some major sucesses! In a month I have lost 14.5 pounds, chronic pain and fatigue that I’ve struggled with for a decade are slowly easing up, energy is improving, appetite returning, basically I know that what I’m doing is working great for me! Which is why this morning I was in shock after seeing the fruit of all my efforts.
It’s been a year since I’ve driven a car. The reason? The last time I drove, my stomach was pressed against the steering wheel. That was a painful realization for me which caused me to spiral away into depression and self loathing. I spent last year trying to lose weight but never sticking with it because I was hating what I had allowed myself to become but not enough to make the change for good.
So this morning, I had to drive my dad to pick up the car he’s renting for the weekend and to be honest I was dreading it. Anxiety was riding high and I didn’t sleep good last night knowing I was going to have to stuff this body behind the steering wheel. As I was psyching myself up this morning I decided on the course of action to take. After I got dressed, I stood in front of my bathroom mirror and practiced sucking in my stomach as far as I could with the hope that it would be enough. Moment of truth came, I climbed in and held my breath as I got situated and that’s when I notice the amount of space between me and the steering wheel!
I slowly relaxed my stomach muscles out and there was still plenty of room! I quickly buckled and was in shock. Dad got in and even remarked about the room I had, apparently he doubted that I even had an issue. That’s when I reminded him about a year ago and we were off. After I got home I had to share this with a very sweet woman, who is basically my sister from another mister, and through the tears I told her everything. This is a woman that truly understands the struggle, who has never judged me, or made me feel like less of a human being based on my size. She’s one of the few people who actually knows my weight and still sees my worth!
Her response made me cry even more because it was filled with so much love, admiration, and honesty. I could not have asked for a better friend, she’s one of several folks who have come to me saying just how much I am motivating them, encouraging them to do better. Quite honestly, I didn’t understand how since I’m morbidly obese. Society cracks jokes about people my size, ridicules us for being so big, bashing us with the hopes that it will motivate us fat folks to change our lives for the better according to their standards.
She explained it to me that it’s because I struggle through all of this, that I haven’t given in to the temptations that plague me that it’s motivating her and others to strive to do better. That hey, if Amanda can do it so can I! So when she put it like that, I was able to understand better why everyone keeps thinking of me in that way. It’s humbling, since I never set out with that mindset. I didn’t wake up one day and say, today I am going to see how I can motivate others. I began sharing my weekly progress on my private facebook account to keep myself honest. In the end, other blessings have come because of it, for everyone…including me!
I hope this post has helped someone else, maybe it’s given someone the courage to try again. Let me tell you, it’s worth it…You. Are. Worth. It.
Don’t give up!! We can do this 💪🏼
⬆️ This is a great reminder! Don’t forget it ❤️
Have a blessed week!!